Philip Matthews is a 2011 graduate of the MFA program at Washington University in St. Louis and is this year’s Jr. Writer-in-Residence in the English department. He teaches poetry and creative non-fiction. He is also a gallery assistant at the Pulitzer.
by Philip Matthews, Gallery Assistant
Last Thursday, October 6, I had the pleasure of experiencing the first of a series of Sound Waves events, which will all respond to the current exhibition, Reflections of the Buddha. For this installment, DJ Tim Rakel pumped a variety of Indian and Indian-influenced music throughout the exhibition through a sound system installed in the grates in the floor. The effect was encompassing, and as a gallery assistant stationed in the main gallery over the course of three hours, I found myself considering the Buddhist concepts of impermanence and attachment.
According to Buddhist thought, everything is in a constant state of change. The Pulitzer building exemplifies this principle, as natural light shifts throughout the day throughout the galleries: in one moment, a shimmering reflection of the Watercourt on the ceiling; in one moment, a rod of light through the Buddha on a phyllite plate; in one moment, nightfall reveals the standing Buddha reflected in a window, alongside my own reflection. And Rakel’s musical selections enhanced this principle beautifully: moving from a recording of monks chanting a cappella in unison, to a shimmering of sitars and a woman’s microtonic pipes like I have never heard, to a percussive, upbeat dance fitting of a dakini. Throughout the event, I am struck by how the power of the artworks around me interact with the music and the building, and how those relationships evolve as time progresses. At any given moment, I am satisfied to be here, having the experience I am having. Is this something like samadhi?
But when I begin to become attached: for example, when I begin to miss the blocks of orange light which sunset cast on the wall, I begin to miss out on the current experience of night available to me, with its different beauties and significances. This, I feel, is the Buddha’s most useful teaching to my daily life, which is full of attachments: to loved ones, to routine, to self-image. Because nothing is permanent, my attachments dissatisfy me when the conditions of my life change: I am dissatisfied that the relationship I want to last must inevitably end; I am dissatisfied when my students are not as talkative as they were last week; I am dissatisfied that, at 24, I am still so much skinnier than other men. The Buddha: “…on the cessation of craving ceases attachment; on the cessation of attachment ceases becoming…” (Mitchell, Donald W. “The Teachings of the Buddha.” Buddhism: Introducing the Buddhist Experience. New York: Oxford UP, 2008. 42. Print.)
Here is a creative response to the challenges and questions of intimacy, attachment and impermanence which the current exhibition at the Pulitzer has begun to raise for me. The first draft of this poem was written at Sound Waves on Thursday, October 6, in fragments, on the back of a receipt I had in my wallet at the time.